Dealing With “BDSM” Type Girls You Meet On Hookup Dating Sites

One of my first encounters with a woman I met on a hookup dating site was a girl that was WAY into BDSM. For those of you unfamiliar with BDSM, it stands for Bondage Domination Sadism Masochism. It’s basically a fetish that involves a roleplaying lifestyle. Within the BDSM community, there are hundreds of different types of roleplay activities. Each person’s preference on a type of roleplay is different.


When I met this girl, I was inexperienced with BDSM. In fact, I was completely clueless about what this lifestyle involved. After she began explaining her fetishes, I started thinking “damn, this chick is one sick fuck”. She liked being tied down and beaten severely with a cane. My momma taught me to never hit a woman, so I was a bit put off by it.

I thought about just ignoring her because I wasn’t into that sort of stuff. But she was smokin’ hot and I wanted to bang her, so I figured I would do whatever she wanted just so I could get down her pants. The first time we met, she had me dominate her. I got no pleasure out of it, though I did end up getting laid. So there was a benefit to it. But here’s the problem – I felt really weird doing it. It just wasn’t my thing and I really didn’t want to do it again.

The BDSM community

The BDSM community

BDSM Women NEED The Lifestyle

The problem with hooking up with a BDSM fanatic is she’s addicted to the lifestyle. Sure, she loves sex too, but if she doesn’t get her fix of whatever BDSM related fantasy she needs, she’ll become frustrated. Those into BDSM consider the rest of us “Vanilla’s”. However, a BDSM girl can have a pleasurable sexual relationship with a Vanilla. Sometimes they just want a good fuck without all the roleplay. Besides, not every BDSM encounter ends with sex. Often times, it’s nothing more than roleplay and nothing sexual is involved. So how does a Vanilla that refuses to get into BDSM establish a sexual relationship with a BDSM chick?

Sexual relationship with a BDSM chick

Sexual relationship with a BDSM chick

Tell Her to Sign-up For a Fetish Dating Site

I’m not a member of any fetish sites. I prefer sticking with hookup adult dating websites. But I do know there are plenty of sites out there that are specific to a certain fetish. Have her sign-up for one of those sites, meet a guy that can give her the BDSM lifestyle she needs, and have her come to you for sex only. Heck, she might even have success just posting an ad in the casual encounters section of Craigslist.

Don’t be rude and tell her you think her fetish is weird. She’ll never speak to you again if you do. I let the girl I was hooking up with know that I can’t possibly give her what she needs because of my lack of experience. Then I told her I wanted her to find someone that can, but still come to me for Vanilla sex.

Hookup adult dating websites

Hookup adult dating websites

And if that doesn’t work….

Man-up and learn the lifestyle! You never know, you might actually grow to enjoy it. And if you don’t…ditch the bitch!