Stupidly Simple & Cheap Gift Ideas For Your Fuck Friends: Give Like Santa. Spend Like Scrooge. Look Like GOD

When the holiday season is around the corner, a man with a steady booty call is left with quite the predicament. No one wants to spend a bunch of money on a girl he’s only using for sex. We save our money for the gold digging wife we’re eventually going to marry. However, once the holiday’s come around, it’s common courtesy to get your fuck buddy a gift. You want to make her feel important without going over the top and turning the relationship into something more than it is. But you still want to impress her so she’ll continue putting out.


Valentine’s Day is the worst holiday when you’re not in a regular relationship. It’s an even worse time for those of us guys with a steady fuck buddy. I don’t want to get emotionally involved with the women I use for sex only. So I’m not going to take her out for an expensive meal, then back home to light some candles and drink whine. That’s what true lovers do on V-Day. Instead, I’ll get her a simple gift that lets her know I appreciate the pleasure she gives me. And I do it in a way that makes her think she received a pretty sweet gift when she actually received a box of junk. The 3 best presents I’ve ever given my booty call’s are listed below. They’re inexpensive and happily accepted.

Gift Cards I Don’t Want

Everyone gets gift cards on Christmas or for birthdays. Personally, I hardly ever use them. I almost always forget that I even have them. So I might as well put them to use. Best Buy, Wal-Mart, Target, Applebee’s, etc – I have cards piled up from darn near every major restaurant chain or department store. The value of most gift cards are $25-$50, but sometimes you’ll have a rich relative hook you up with a big fat $100 card.

Don’t give out the $100 card to your fuck buddy. Keep that one for yourself! Give her the $25-$50 cards. Oh, and don’t tell her you received them as a gift and are passing it down to her. That won’t impress her. Make her think you’re the one that paid for it.

 Gift cards on Christmas or for birthdays

Gift cards on Christmas or for birthdays

Raid The Dollar Store

Take a $20 bill. Drive on down to your local Dollar Store. Every town has one. Buy a whole bunch of random stuff. You’d be surprised at the amount of cool shit you can buy at a Dollar Store. Take all of that stuff, wrap it up, and drop it off on her doorstep. Put a note on the container (don’t even spend for a card, just write a note) with a sexy message saying you’re horny for her and Merry Christmas/Happy Birthday/Whatever. The fact that you wrote her a sexy message like that will get her mind of the cheap presents you bought her.

The cheap presents

The cheap presents

Give Her Something You Already Own

My grandmother buys me a bunch of crappy sweaters that I’ll never wear, for Christmas. She does this every year. I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t want the sweaters. The dual-gender sweaters she gives me, I pass on to my fuck buddies. You don’t have to give out your crappy clothes, but there’s probably some items around your house that are in new condition that she’d love to have.

The dual-gender sweaters

The dual-gender sweaters